buying and selling telephones

Last night was the premiere of Lady Gaga's epic pop music event, the "Telephone" music video featuring Beyonce.  Now, at least in my little Gagafied world, there was a shit-ton of hype.  Hype coming at ya from every direction.  I like to imagine that this hype extended to the rest of the world as a welcome distraction from Health Care, gay politicians, Ke$ha, etc.  I know that (almost) literally every gay person I am friends with on Facebook could not contain their excitement and collectively shit their pants.  On Facebook, this means multiple status updates within the span of an hour.  In real life, this means that they, well, shit their pants.

I shat my pants.  At this point, it's almost a joke.  In fact, I get kind of mad.  I want her to fuck up.  I want her to do something that I can criticize and hate on, even just a little bit.  Because as long as she continues in her trailblazin', genius ways, I'm going to remain "that freak who is freakishly obsessed and in love with Lady Gaga."  Part of me really wants to reinvent myself as only a fan of Gaga.  Maybe a "Little Monster," I can get down with that.  But fanboy who believes she can do no wrong and worships the ground she walks in amazing platform heels on, I don't know anymore.  I am starting to tire of the subtle judging, I'm starting to get bored with never being bored by everything that she does.

I don't know who to be more mad at.  Do I project my anger at Gaga for somehow being everything that I've ever wanted in a pop superstar?  That just doesn't seem fair.  Do I throw heavy objects at the people who clearly don't get it and haven't given in 100% to the Gaga Crazy Train and judge me with their side eyes?  I can't really blame them... I am, indeed, fucking batshit crazy over her.  Do I turn that anger inward at myself for allowing my silly mind to get carried away, incessantly preoccupied with those simple pop hooks, the outfits, the lifestyle?  I can't be mad at myself for too long, because Gaga reinforces the belief I've almost always had to love myself and believe in myself... even if I am overflowing with insanity.  Seriously - the woman makes me seriously consider trying to pull off a glittered metallic lobster headpiece.

I digress.  This video.  You know, the first real pop culture epic event since "Bad Romance."  And before "Bad Romance," since... well, I can't even remember the last time I anticipated something so badly other than Gwen Stefani's solo venture and unfortunately, the general public wasn't as excited as I was (until "Hollaback Girl").

I don't understand the gripes about the video.  Specifically, the ones about product placement.  For me, it serves two purposes: to pay for the ridiculous production value and as an extension of the song's meaning.  Ostensibly, "Telephone" is a song that lacks depth.  Upon further examination, and maybe I'm reaching here, it's about how we've become accustomed to constantly being inundated by technology, and by extension, advertisements.  "Stop telephonin' me-eh-eh-eh-eh.  I'm busaaaaay!"  and "I don't wanna think anymore!"

We're not allowed to fully let go of our connections, be they social, social media, or to consumerism.  Advertisements are everywhere.  What I gathered from this video in terms of product placement is something of a contradictory compromise.  Here's what I mean by that: I don't believe that Gaga, in her heart of hearts, believes in consumerism.  I truly feel that she believes in art.  But I think she sees art in the same way that Warhol did, in that it has been hijacked by consumerism.  So, rather than allow those with the power (the corporations whose products are prominently featured in her video) sell their products on their terms, as they usually are free to do - Gaga intervenes in a few key ways:

1. She takes creative control of featuring the product.  Just as Andy Warhol did with the Campbell soup can, Gaga takes Miracle Whip, or Wonder Bread, or Polaroid, and injects them into her videos to serve a [strange] purpose and add to the message of what she's trying to say.  This is a key distinction because it's not what they want her to say.  In fact, I find it completely nuts that Wonder Bread and Miracle Whip lent their products to this in a scene where she's creating a poisonous sandwich that eventually kills a diner full of people.  Not exactly my idea of positive advertising, but what do I know?
2. She transforms the product placements into satire.  The very nature of her work as a pop star in the 21st century hinges upon people's desire to consume.  Rather than pretend to be unaware of this, a la Britney Spears or any other number of pop tartlets who claim they "just want to make music," but have branding deals out the ass, Gaga seems hyperaware.  She takes it to the extreme.  It's no secret that videos have product placement these days.  But when a video is chock-full of them, as Gaga's is - it becomes almost a parody.  The PlentyOfFish website (which in all sincerity, I thought was a joke lesbian dating website at first) was annoying, but then I found myself laughing by the time the Miracle Whip came into the picture, because I think I finally got it.  It's so over the top, and by definition, so Gaga, that you can't take it seriously.  For a performer who delivers almost every syllable she speaks in a deadpan, straightfaced way, she has one wicked sense of humor - and this video solidified that for me.
3. She makes a statement about it.  In our post-postmodern culture where ambivalence is a way of life, it's jarring to see someone so intent on constantly making "statements."  Most of us are so cynical about people delivering commentary that we instantly try to rip it apart before it even is fully formed.  We have an obsession with building up and tearing down people.  Gaga has never shied away from explaining what things mean to her and her thought process in developing her creations.  (You know, come to think of it, this might be one of the few things that really bugs me about her.  I wish she'd let us come to our own conclusions.)  This video, if anything, is a commentary on our culture.  We are all walking product placements.  Whereas only one or two previous generations before me didn't have brand names plastered all over their clothes, it's now virtually inescapable.  We buy products because the advertising works on us, and in turn, we become advertisements ourselves.  If it's futile to resist, because consumerism is dominating our world, why not have try to have fun with it?  Oh, and by the way, if it's futile to resist, because Gaga is dominating our world, why not try to have fun with her?

I truly don't believe Gaga is trying to get us to buy things.  I just don't.  I think she knows, as well as we do, that just because Miracle Whip is seen in her video, does not mean that next time I'm grocery shopping, I'm gonna Miracle Whip it up just because Gaga does.  In my mind, which as we know has trouble being objective in terms of Gaga, she is pulling a fast one on those advertisers the way Warhol did.

I guess what I like most about Gaga is that she knows who she is, even when she doesn't.  She has a point of view.  Without knowing the inner workings of the Haus of Gaga, or her management, or whatever evil person who's sitting with their back to us in a chair and stroking a cat is in charge of her, she at least appears to be in total control of herself and her vision.

And in a world where advertisers and everyone else are trying to get you to be someone else or be more like them, I'm just glad that there's a representative out there asking you to take ownership of yourself and your dreams.  Diet Coke cans as hair rollers may be a powerful image, but I believe that the image of Lady Gaga the Free Bitch, Baby, is going to be the lasting one for those of us who struggle with our identity and place in the world.

What do you think?  Are the product placements just too much and is she going to end up shaving her head one day in protest of all the pressure that's on her?  Have I just gone completely Gaga?  Can you snap me out of my Gaga-tunnel vision and get me to believe the criticisms?  Please, this is a cry for help...

Edit:  Since completing this entry, I discovered an incredibly in-depth read on the video and its symbolism.  Check it out if you're as into analyzing this crazy lady/video as much as I am.