super lovers

As you well know by now, I love going into the city.  There are a smörgåsbord of reasons why that place fills me up with energy, but one of the things I love most is all the love.  My mom came up to visit me a few weeks ago, and I spent a lot of consecutive time in the city.  I showed her my boyfriend, Brooklyn, for the first time and we walked across his bridge as snowflakes surrounded us, eager to touch down.  We had dinner at Pete's Downtown, right next to the bridge and caught up on all the things we hadn't been able to talk about in the months it's been since I've seen her.  She hates talking on the phone, and I hate talking on the phone, and my dad loves talking on the phone, so this gives us lots to talk about, including how much we hate talking to dad on the phone.


It's no secret that I'm the biggest mommy's boy alive.  Every time I see my mom, I just fall all the more in love with her.  I'm closer with her than ever before, but she carries so much mystery to me.  She had an entire life before I came along, and I try so hard to gather information about that life and she's extremely withholding.  Honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way.


It has become a tradition for us to explore the city, and this is probably our 6th time together in the city so the trip was much more relaxed than usual.  We had more time to wander and just look at things than ever before.  What I noticed most was love.


It seemed like everywhere I turned, there was a couple canoodling on the subway.  A boy and a girl huddling as close as they could get in puffy jackets on the street corner.  Two men, unable or unwilling to display physical affection publicly, sitting so close with smiles plastered on their faces.  I felt like I was enveloped by lovers and I was totally okay with it.  I didn't experience jealousy, I didn't wish for what they had.  Instead, I was just happy to see what I knew existed being put on display, almost in a quiet, defiant protest of all things negative in the world.


Valentine's Day had just passed, so maybe they were all still experiencing love hangovers.  Or maybe not.  I tried to recall life in North Carolina, and I never remember being so surrounded by people showing affection.  I tried remembering other places I had traveled to, and still nothing.


Maybe I was just never open to it before.  Maybe I didn't notice it, always being surrounded by people and friends to distract me.  The more time I spend alone, the more I've noticed how much more I get to observe and pay close attention.  To be honest, I'm glad I'm noticing.  Seeing love makes me full of love.


What proved it to me was when I was back in the city last night for my birthday party.  I sat on the subway, making my way down to what would prove to be the most delicious vegetarian meal I've ever tasted.  I watched a girl fall asleep in the nook of her partner's shoulder.  He sat silently, his eyes downcast on her.  Clearly exhausted, the bumping and shaking of the train didn't have the slightest affect on her ability to knock out.  Drool made a slow escape from the corner of her mouth onto his jacket.  He saw it, smiled the smile that made you know that this has happened to him before, and wiped it up without waking her.


When I think about love (think about me - Dolly, anyone?)  I think about so many things.  I think about my first love, the love I have for my mom, the love I'll have one day, those super lovers on the subway, and the general, ambiguous, undefinable love I have for all people.  I try hard to stay current with the news, and know what's going on in the world around me and it always seems like what's going on in the world around me is just trying to prove to me that love is leaving here.  But I know that's false.


Perhaps I give the city too much credit.  Maybe I am just a master love observer.  All I know is that I'm seeing it now more than ever.  And more than just seeing it, I'm knowing it to be true.  I know it because of the drool.  Drool is love.  Cleaning up your lover's drool without telling them they drooled - that's super love.  And I hope it never goes away.