Chik-Fil-A

I don't have a hard time with knowing that there are people out there who legitimately believe that I am a descendent of the devil. I don't have a hard time with people who actually think that it would be better off if I was, along with those like me, lined up and shot execution-style. Don't really have a problem with being called faggot, AIDS heathen, cocksucker, queer, or any other name one could come up with for me. I am all of those things and I'm proud of it. I am, perhaps, most proud of AIDS heathen. It just sounds neat!

What I have a hard time with is the sheer joy it appears to fill people with to feel this way about me.

When I have moments where I let misogyny overtake me momentarily, I'm not gleeful about it. When I have moments where racism creeps within me, I'm not happy about it. When I have moments when I compare a young person to an older person, I'm not excited about it. In fact, and those moments do happen, I am quite disappointed in myself. Disappointed that I haven't come far enough to let my reflexive misogyny, racism, ageism, and sexism go. Sometimes, I think I'll probably struggle with it all my life. When I, in an instance of anger or frustration, call someone a "bitch," I don't smile when I do it. I don't add a :) emoticon to the end of it. Because as soon as the word leaves my mouth, sometimes even as soon as the thought enters my mind, I become sad. I feel like I've failed at my personal promise to try to give the benefit of the doubt to other people, to check my privilege, to be thoughtful above all else, to not be a total shithead.

I cannot even begin to pretend to truly give a shit about Chik-Fil-A. I don't trust any single corporation to do good in the world. I just don't. To expect a corporation to be socially or environmentally responsible is a failure on your part - not their's. The rule of capitalism is to make as much money as possible while minimizing costs and to protect your product at all times. Capitalism exists in a free world, regulated far too little for my taste. Therefore, the heads of corporations like Chik-Fil-A and Target are free to make their decisions as they see fit. I legitimately do not get outraged about this kind of mess anymore. Why would I? What am I truly expecting out of a company like Chik-Fil-A other than thighs like a Clydesdale and high cholesterol?

The facts are these: Chik-Fil-A makes chicken sandwiches. Chik-Fil-A's executive leadership donates to notoriously anti-LGBTQ advocacy groups, ones that cause real harm to LGBTQ youth. I know that these groups cause harm to those youth because so long as they exist, they cause harm to those groups. Another fact is that people feel really strongly about Chik-Fil-A now. Some people are angry, and some people are smug, slimy assholes who now are fully aware of what that leadership supports and take joy and pride in it on days like today: "CHIK-FIL-A APPRECIATION DAY." Let it be known, these people are not supporting Chik-Fil-A, they're supporting the frame of mind that thinks it's okay to discriminate against people because of who they happen to love.

Because of that, I'm not angry at Chik-Fil-A. I'm not mad at waffle fries. I'm not mad at the kids working there to earn a living. I live for and make decisions for myself these days, and I can't pretend to know what's best for someone else. I am still and likely always will be mad at that ideology that thinks discrimination and bigotry is acceptable. No matter how many times I hear it, I'm still sad at the fact that people are working diligently to make the future of LGBTQ youth less bright, with less opportunities for fair and equal treatment.

I feel so fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with a tiny fraction of these youth in my career path and listen to the sometimes unbelievably dark despair that these human beings carry with them every single day of their life. This despair that is resultant of the way that they are treated for being who they are - not because of who they are. I say I'm fortunate because it has afforded me a perspective that helps me to understand that it is never okay, never even remotely acceptable, not even fractionally all right to derive happiness out of their unimaginable pain and suffering. You would think that this would be something most human beings understood.

You would think.