future hero, vol. 2

The LGBT-advocacy group that I've been doing my fellowship with saw an enormous victory on Tuesday. The School Violence Prevention Act, a bill that clearly defines bullying and makes the anti-bullying policy in NC schools more effective by adding enumerated categories (race, physical appearance, sexual orientation and gender identity, socioeconomic status) of commonly targeted bullying victims. Why is that necessary? Well, we have teachers who think calling a child "fatass" is bullying, but "gay" or "fag" is "teasing." This policy clearly defines bullying as verbal, written or electronic harassment based on one's real or perceived sexual orientation, gender identity, and other describing charactersitics.

I attended the vote. This was, after all, what we had been working on all year (and my co-workers for the past 3 years!) It was incredibly exciting and also nervewracking. The vote passed by one vote. This is the first bill to include sexual orientation and gender identity in protection in North Carolina state history. North Carolina is now the only state in the South with a gender-identity inclusive law. This is monumental.

We heard lots of lively debate, and a lot of it was as ignorant as you could expect. One time, last year, an unnamed legislator said that if we stopped this kind of bullying, how would the kids who are bullied know what to change about themselves?

One Representative stood up and gave an incredible, touching speech about why he supports the bill. When you read his words, you'll probably see why it affected me so much. This man is not only a perfect example of a father, he is a hero and champion to kids like me everywhere for being brave enough to share his story on the NC General Assembly - a place with a not-so-great history of respecting differences.

Rep. Darren Jackson's words:

Thank you, Mr. Speaker. I got a letter from a constituent that I'd like to read a little bit about tonight in this forum.

She wrote, "I am the mother of a son with autism. I truly cannot comprehend the reluctance of any legislator to pass this bill. Bullies do exist, and they make life miserable for those unable to defend themselves. In a civilized society, why do we allow this? My son is bright but different. Eccentric some would say. Unfortunately, this difference can be the catalyst for teasing and taunting, sometimes in a subtle form, and sometimes in more flagrant acts involving an emotional and physical violation. I know all too well that children can be cruel. It's up to the adults in their lives to teach them acceptance and tolerance. Students learn more than academics in school, and part of their education should include how to treat others with respect and dignity and look to peers for support, not how to dodge a fist."

We can begin the process of tolerance tonight by taking a stand against bullying for any reason. I know some of you in this chamber have been having these culture wars for many years. This bill is not about that. At least it shouldn't be, and it's not for me. Instead, it's personal, and I apologize for that.

Friends, God didn't make us all exactly alike. Sometimes these perceived differences lead to bullying. Maybe the victim is a girl in middle school who is larger than her male counterparts, and likes sports, and is called a tomboy—or worse. Maybe it's a disabled child with autism who's called freak, weirdo, or even much worse names and is physically assaulted at school. Maybe it's your child, your grandchild, your niece or nephew. Or maybe the victim is a 10-year-old little boy who just finished the fifth grade. Maybe he's real small for his age, the smallest in his class. Maybe he doesn't like contact sports, but instead loves to dance and sing and perform in the school production. He's a natural. Maybe he's a fan of soft colors and likes to wear pink, like his dad. Maybe he's blessed to have his mother's good looks and beautiful skin and soft facial features. Maybe he likes to hang out with girls because he's not rough enough for the boys.

Maybe because of all these things, he's called sissy boy, gay, homo or even worse. Perhaps his father is absolutely terrified of what middle school and high school will have in store for such a wonderful little boy. Maybe his parents or his teachers tried to teach him not to act a certain way or to talk about certain interests in front of other boys because it just leads to more bullying. You might say that they encourage him to hide his true personality. And why? Shouldn't he be free to be himself? He's not hurting anyone. He should be free to be what God made him. He's 10. He doesn't know what he is.

This bill simply says that no child should be bullied even if they are perceived to be poor or disabled or maybe different. This bill's about protecting kids; at least, it is for me. If this bill prevents one suicide, or one school violence episode, then it's a success. If this bill is passed, then it will be a step forward for protecting children—maybe even one close to you.

If you're going to vote no against this bill, at least be honest with yourself about why you're doing it.

I'm going to count my vote as yes. And when my daughter and I, who's serving as page this week, go out to eat and go home tonight, I'm going to go see her little brother, who'll be in bed asleep. I'm going to lean across that bed and kiss my 10-year old goodnight. And I'm going to know that I voted the right way, the way to protect him and other children like him. And if that costs me my seat in this chamber, then so be it.

I hope you'll join me in voting yes.