why i write

I write because I'm good at it.  When I say this, I don't mean to toot my own horn, but toot toot.  I committed myself to this blog over a year ago because I have always been told by others that I was a good writer, and of all the things in my life besides performing, it has come naturally to me.  I never felt like I had to work hard at writing.  I could finish 10-page papers in a matter of an hour and a half and have it be a well-developed, thoughtful piece of work.  I remember the guilt I felt hearing others talk about how long or how hard it was.  Which isn't to say I'm smarter - even though, let's face it, I am - it's just to say that they're good at other things.  Like playing lacrosse, or underwater basket weaving.  Writing is something I've always felt good at.

I'm clearly not the best writer, and I don't always practice proper grammar.  In fact, I love me a comma, and use them all, too, frequently.  I also love me a run-on sentence even though I try really hard not to do that because I know it can be annoying to read and it's one of my biggest pet peeves while reading other people's writing, and I still lack the ability to stop myself from running on and on and on and on and on until the sentence takes up what would normally be a six sentence paragraph, kinda like the one I just did.  See what I did there?

The reason why I think others think I'm a good writer is because I have a clear voice.  When you read something I write, you know it's something I wrote.  Whether it's the run-on sentences, the commas, the Lady Gaga references, or whatever, I like to think I keep it real and keep it Wes.

Speaking of keeping it real, I keep it real.  This is another reason why I have committed myself to writing.  Obviously, I can only write from my perspective.  This blog has been an experiment in keeping myself honest.  I started writing regularly as a way to deal with the end of my first relationship - a relationship in which I was continually accused (and sometimes rightfully so) of being dishonest.  I would write in my Livejournal in early high school years and either gloss over or embellish the truth in hopes of creating a more memorable entry.  Now, I don't feel the need to.

I write, sometimes, about the people in my life.  I don't do so to be hurtful to those people or to exact revenge.  The fact is, I think the journey we make in our relationships with others is fascinating.  How you can go from hating someone to loving someone, or loving someone to hating them, and then to find an equilibrium where you detach yourself from the emotions and see things for what they are.  This is why I like having a blog - it's a living document.  It changes, as I do, and so do my opinions of people, places, and things.

When I was growing up, I remember perpetually feeling like there was no one else like me.  I didn't so much feel alone, I always had friends or family around to avoid that.  I just felt like no one could possibly feel or experience the things that I felt - the private things, which I so often write about.  I had no one to identify with, so I shifted identities often to align myself with someone I worshipped or admired.

I write because there are so many people like me, who have experienced the same things and feelings that I have, and by putting it out there into the universe helps us all by knowing we're not so alone and we're not such freaks.