Friday: Honestly, I was scared to death. It was small, hot as hayel, and definitely a downgrade from my super fancy downtown Greensboro apartment. I mean, it was on the side of a house owned by two lesbians for Christ's sake. I only vaguely knew what I was getting. Once the landlord left, my mom knew I was not totally excited. She told me to calm down, we'd unpack the truck, and see how everything came together. So, that's what we did. We only took a break to take the Jetta to a Volkswagen dealership to diagnose the problem. Luckily, we were able to rent a car. We came back home and got to work until we slept.
Saturday: I spent all Saturday morning putting together my new IKEA dresser. What a fucking thorn in my ass. By 1pm, I was finally done and things really started moving at that point. My mom and I were like two crazy people on coke or meth or both, unpacking and setting shit up at record speed. Before I knew it, it was 7pm and my stomach was eating itself. We went to go get some chicken wings (YES! In Long Island!) and brought them back to the apartment. When I walked in and looked around for the first time - I mean, really looked around - I actually liked the place. My mother is a genius. Without her, it would probably have just been me crying in a corner for days until someone found me and smacked me in the face and said "get your shit together kid, you're on Long Island now." So, thank God for her.
It actually is really, really cool. I'm kind of in love with it. We've done a really good job, and I actually have my own place now. I can't tell you how exciting that is for me. Since my camera is in my car, I haven't been able to take pictures yet--
Oh, yeah. My car. They called us and told us that the engine needs replaced. The mechanic, who was really nice (still yelling, though) said that it's probably not worth replacing, but that we should start looking for a new car. Awesome.
When I called my dad, he assured me not to worry, that he would figure something out. He knows someone who is selling a Ford Contour. I had no idea what a Ford Contour was until I looked it up on Google, and I can tell you that I still wish I had no idea what a Ford Contour was. Beggars, though, cannot be choosers. This is what I've been told, at least. Is it bad that I secretly hope he gets the Ford Contour, drives it up to New York to give to me, and it breaks down along the way? ... Yeah, I guess that's bad.
Other than all that, life is good. I still maintain an excellent sense of direction and haven't gotten lost yet. I don't own a GPS, and I don't intend to. I haven't really been able to explore the area yet, but here are my few observations thus far:
- Hispanics apparently wait on corners to be hired here, a la prostitution, except you're not getting sex, but yard work. My mother's theory "Since we're in a recession, I bet there's not much construction going on."
- I have not seen a natural blonde yet.
- There are lots of fat people.
- It's much greener and prettier than I imagined. I said to my mom it's like North Carolina and Las Vegas had a baby and raised it in Pennsylvania. I don't know, it makes sense to me.
- It's kind of exactly like the trashier parts of North Carolina, except instead of everyone sounding really slow and stupid, everyone talks really fast and sounds mean.
- There are other gay people here.
- There is a deaf child on my street. I know this because there is a sign that says "Deaf child area."
- People on my street love the Mets. I love the Yankees, solely because my family does. I believe this means that there is some form of rivalry that may ensue. Around baseball season. Which is when?
- Girls think that putting gel in their hair as soon as they get out of the shower so that it creates the super-hard curl is a legitimate hairstyle.
- Guys think that the Gotti boys have the hottest hairstyle/fashion around, because every single guy dresses like a low budget version of them.
- While we're on the subject of hair, Kate Gosselin must be the single-most influential person in hair salons on Long Island today, because that disaster of a hairstyle is everywhere. This place is in need of Mr. Britt!
- My landlord is cheap. We asked where Target was, she told us where K-Mart was. Okay...
- My landlord is in the mob. She wants rent paid in cash.
- There are highways that you must get on in order to get on other highways. It's very confusing.
- Long Islanders love a strip mall.
- I'm only a 40 minute drive from the city!
I start my job tomorrow, and it feels like the first day of school. I want to pack my lunch and everything. We'll see how it goes!
Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to find the equivalent to Harris Teeter and mourn the loss of Chick-Fil-A and Bojangles in my life. I'm also going to figure out how to install a window air-conditioner because although I love losing the weight, I cannot sweat like this anymore. What a long, strange trip it's been. Who knows where I'm going next!
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