a post featuring sean penn and madonna - wait, is it 1989?

Sean Penn made me cry last night. I felt like last night was validation for 2006. I'm okay with "Slumdog" winning Best Picture, because, well, they're a bunch of minorities, too. But seriously, Sean Penn. Was it the mimosas (which, by the time he won the award, had turned into 95% champagne 3% orange juice 2% melted ice/water/backwash), Kate Winslet's speech, which still had me on an emotional high, or the fact that Sean Penn and gay people everywhere deserved that moment? I don't know, but I do know that as Christian protesters picketed the ceremony to abuse Heath Ledger's legacy, I was crying in my living room surrounded by friends...and maybe it's because I don't ever see enough straight allies standing up and saying such eloquent, beautiful, and truthful things about us.

I'm not going to get on my soap box, because I think I did that already yesterday and Dustin Lance Black and Sean Penn did a great job re-iterating what I said (I think they totally read this to warm themselves up, amIrite?) So, instead I'm just going to do a blow-by-blow.

• Speaking of which, it was the gayest Oscars ever. When Hugh Jackman declared at the end of the Baz Luhrmann-directed (and disappointing) musical number that "Musicals are BACK!!!!" he also outed himself. At least in my eyes. Are all Australians that gay? Don't get me wrong - I'm totally okay with it, and Hugh Jackman can be huge and jack me whenever he wants, but seriously? I thought I was watching the Tony Awards.
• Marion Cotillard. When she introduced Kate Winslet, it was the most endearing moment of the entire night. Because Marion Cotillard said exactly what I would have said, and was wearing what I would have worn.
• Kate Winslet. Duh. Thank God she won. Keep 'em coming. Meryl Streep - watch your back.
• Meryl Streep and her new girlfriend. Or was that her daughter?
• Robert Pattinson. It's the guiltiest of pleasures, but when that man walked onto stage and kept his little head down and then he smiles with his eyes. You just KNOW he is sitting there in his bathroom, practicing all of these looks...and goddamn, do they work.
• The shot of Robert Pattinson/Mickey Rourke/Tina Fey. So, I've been looking high and low on the internet for this because it was my favorite moment of the night. When they were talking about Mickey Rourke, you saw Robert on Mickey's right and Tina on Mickey's left and they were both hilarious to watch. Both totally knew they were on camera, one of them (Robert) was trying to be sexy and adorable and the other (Tina) was just awkward as ever. Stay tuned because I will find this moment and share.
• Angelina Jolie's blink of acknowledgment that a camera was filming her during Jennifer Aniston's presentation. Seriously tacky job by the Academy.
• <----This moment. Seriously, could Tina Fey be any funnier? Oh, yeah, and Steve Martin.
• Penelope Cruz thanking Pedro Almodovar for making such complex and incredible films for women. If I could, I would say the same thing to my favorite director of all time. (Go watch All About My Mother or Volver right now to see what I'm talking about.)
  

All in all, a pretty boring show. After 6 or 7 bottles of cheap champagne split between 5 friends (3 of whom slept until 1pm) I'd say we made it a pretty fun and exciting night, with no thanks at all to the producers of the show.

And even though she wasn't at the show, can we take a moment to appreciate the ferocity of the HBIC/Queen of Pop at the Vanity Fair Oscar party?